Candi Jensen was on "Knitty Gritty" last season demonstrating how to make the CUTEST DAMN BABY ITEMS EVER... hand-knitted suede Ugg booties.

I know that ya'll hate Uggs and think they are the ugliest thing since shoulder pads. But I am here to tell you, I live in the Valley and I wear my Uggs (which is shorthand for "UGliest shoe on God's green earth") loud and proud. And I am not alone. The weather has been surprisingly cold here lately -- yesterday it only got up to about 80 degrees downtown! -- and this morning it was even OVERCAST (gasp! how on earth with the little Los Angelenos survive? will there be price-gouging on Starbucks and fizz-control hair gel? Will women in spaghetti-strap tank tops have to wrap 8-foot long skinny scarves around their necks? Will the world stop spinning on its axis?) but anyway, the point is that Ugg boots have been spotted already on the streets of Los Angeles.

It's the age-old question: which comes first -- the fall weather or the Ugg boots? Do people get so desperate to wear their Uggs and skinny scarves that they collectively bring on the Fall weather? Or does Fall bring out the Uggs?

We may never know the answer. It's a chicken-and-egg debate, really, best left to the great minds of paradoxical philosophy.

Me? I'm just over here contemplating your bootie. I've been, in fact, feeling on your bootie. Since that show aired, I have been dying for someone around me to get knocked up so I could make them, and finally (finally!) a girl at work fell into the family way and I started tapping that bootie.

Except ... well, I have READ and CAREFULLY FOLLOWED the pattern. And I really have enjoyed making my first bootie call. But so far my bootie looks REALLY different than the picture on the DIY website. It looks, maybe ... not so much like something that would hold a foot at all.