As a writer, I face rejection on a daily basis. People love or hate my work — or worse, they’re indifferent to it. Agents say no, publishers say no, magazine editors say no. What that’s done for me is thicken my skin. (Not thicken my rear end, although some would beg to differ.) My point? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

Sort of.

Until I get a response like I did yesterday. A “Mom” response. An attack, really, if you want to split hairs. Every blogger says he or she has reached the blogging pinnacle when they begin to acquire “haters” and “trolls” and “naysayers.” I have my share of those. But the response I got yesterday — on the heels of this bitter and nasty and accusatory election season — really got under my (thick) skin.

Why?

Because it wasn’t just personal, it was divisive. It was the classic Good Mom/Bad Mom scenario. It was from the I’m Right/You’re Wrong playbook. It broke my Number One Rule: A Way/The Way.

In case you missed it, the Mom who commented insinuated that I was a bad PARENT (all caps were hers) who made a POOR choice and GLOATED about it on my blog. I’m paraphrasing, of course, but that was the gist of it. And she commented as if I were a non-entity — a nameless face on the other end of a keyboard. That’s what our online obsession has given us, I think — a basic disconnect from other human beings, an inanimate keyboard to hide behind as we type our vitriol.

This particular comment was not written to promote a civil discussion, it was written to incite a riot, to judge, to assign blame. And that’s where I have a problem.

You see, Mamas, we’re all in this game together. We really are. I used to laugh when old Hillary used to say, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but I’ll be damned if she wasn’t on to something. I would never have admitted to that when my kids were young, when I was infallible, when I knew it all. But now that I’m older and more seasoned, I get it.

My kids are most certainly not just raised by me and by Chris. They are raised by their friends, their teachers, their neighbors, their grandparents, their bus drivers, their aunts and uncles. And thank God they are. Because I most certainly would fail them on so very many levels if it were all up to me. I need you, fellow Mamas and Dads and Human Beings. I need your wisdom, your input, your experiences to help guide me and to help guide them.

But what happened in response to my blog post yesterday wasn’t helpful. It was hurtful — to me, to you, to all of us who are doing our best to raise good kids in an imperfect world. A “My Way or the Highway” attitude serves no one — least of all, our children.

Given a second opportunity, I would take my daughter and her friends to see that movie all over again. (And just for the record, her friends’ parents knew which movie we were seeing and gave their individual okays.) You know why? Because the conversation that followed, the openness, the insight was irreplaceable.

And any parents out there who think that 12, 13, and 14-year-olds who exist and participate in this world aren’t already privy to the themes this movie presented might want to open their eyes and their minds a little bit wider. If your kids go to school, if they ride a bus, if they have friends, if they have neighbors — they are learning things far beyond your scope and comprehension.

Didn’t you?

I can clearly remember when I was a newly-minted double-digit girl and a neighbor boy flashed his itty bitty penis. He asked me to touch it. Asked me to show him mine. Cliches be damned, that’s exactly how it happened. I also remember walking in our 20-something neighbors while they were smoking pot. I clearly recall the sickeningly sweet haze in their living room, the Bob Seger playing on the turntable.

Did I talk to my mom about these things? Hell to the no. But I knew her door was open if I needed or wanted to.

I distinctly remember traversing the mysteries of my own body during puberty and being paralyzed with fear that I was different, abnormal, broken in some way. It wasn’t till I read a little Judy Blume from the adult section of the library that I realized what was happening to me and within me was normal. And then I figured out a little more when I ventured onto some seedy V.C. Andrews.

My point is this: movies, music, books — they all have the power to inform us, to guide us, to change us. They elicit discussions and open doors. And for me? I want my door to be open. Always. To my kids, to their friends, to my friends, to their kids. Closed doors, for me, equal closed minds. This movie may have scraped the outer edges of what these girls were familiar with, but those themes were not foreign to them. Trust me. Their conversations and questions proved that they were far more aware than any of us might have given them credit for.

It was ME who was uncomfortable. And I was uncomfortable only because when I close my eyes, I can still smell the baby sweet scent of my Mary Claire’s newborn head. Now she wears bras and mascara and skinny jeans. That unrelenting march of time is often too much for me.

And yet, it continues. Whether I like it or not.

Mamas, we’ve got to stop dividing. We’ve got to abandon words like “right” and “wrong” and “good” and “bad” when we talk about the paths others may choose to take. I’m not a homeschooler or an attachment parent or a nurse-’em-till-they-walk kind of gal, but I don’t begrudge those who are. Your way is not my way, but that doesn’t make it any “less” of a way. It doesn’t make my way better. It doesn’t make your way worse. It just makes our ways different. And I’m certainly grateful for a little diversity.

Unless you’re hanging with meth heads and child abusers, we’re all doing our best to raise the most fabulous kids we can. We should be celebrating that, encouraging it, throwing a little party in its honor. (I’ll bring the wine!)

And here’s the other thing… when we release these kids out into the wild world, we all have to live with them. Whether they believe in Buddha or they pick their noses or they listen to Metallica (no offense, Kirsten), whether your boy loves boys or your girl pierces her belly-button, they’re ours to have and to hold and to honor and uplift… just as they are.

They’re ours to love, all of them. Every single one. Unconditionally.

So, let’s keep opening our arms and our hearts and our eyes instead of assigning blame and passing judgment. Let’s choose kindness. What do you say, Sisters, Brothers, Friends?

Wouldn’t that be a crazy wonderful world? That’s where I want to live.

XO

I’m cleaning again today. For the 8,734th time (roughly) in the past three months, I’m cleaning. I’m scrubbing my floor on my hands and knees, I’m vacuuming dog hair, I’m making my toilets sparkle, I’m eradicating any random boy-pee spray from the base of the potty. I’m fluffing pillows, straightening rooms, hiding sex toys (you’re wondering if I’m really doing that, aren’t you?), burying all the empty wine bottles in the recycling bin (you’re pretty convinced that’s true, right?).

We have another showing today.

I used to get excited about showings. I used to think, “THIS IS IT! Our buyers are coming TODAY!” But now, I’m getting a little bitter and more than a little tired of finding a place to hang out for an hour or two a day — nearly every day. My half-full glass is draining quickly. And my dogs are going to need canine therapy soon. In the heart of a de-cluttered and incredibly clean house that no longer feels like our home, I’m simply waiting for the feedback that says, “Clients liked the house, but they couldn’t see past the colors.”

Really?

Yes, we have a colorful house. We KNOW that. You don’t really need to tell us. And we made a conscious decision when we were listing the house that we weren’t going to re-paint. Why? Because the current market dictates that we’re going to lose roughly $70,000 – 90,000 on this sale. That’s a shitload of cash. So, are we willing to sink another $6,000 into making it neutral? No.

We’re not striking up that band on this particular Titanic.

Call us crazy, but we figure if our buyers are going to get a $400,000 5-bedroom home with a finished basement that’s currently still under a 10-year structural warranty for $70,000 – 90,000 less than we paid for it, they can paint their own damn walls black and purple if they want to.

I understand that a houseful of girls won’t necessarily be thrilled with George’s jungle motif or Gus’s solar system walls. And our blue bedroom will make some people want to vomit. (It’s French provincial blue, not country blue — just for the record.) But wouldn’t it be exciting to pick out a new palette? Is there anything better than browsing color swatches at Lowe’s?

I fear that HGTV is sucking our imaginations dry.

Really, if we were asking full price for this house, I’d expect to paint the walls and put new carpets in. But we’re listed for $60,000 less than our neighbors down the street who only have four bedrooms and a partially finished basement. I’m thinking our buyers are still coming out ahead.

Even if I agreed to paint everything a boring beige for my unimaginative lookers, wouldn’t they want to re-paint once they got in anyway? I mean, do they really want to live with my kids’ dirty fingerprints? In full disclosure, these kids of mine don’t always wipe well. It would behoove anyone to begin this journey with a clean slate.

Oh — and a quick sidebar to my lookers — if you don’t really like my neighborhood, or if you have your heart set on a neighborhood with a community pool, go ahead and skip scheduling my house for a showing. Because, ultimately, our house is, indeed, IN our neighborhood. And there’s not much we can do about that.

Perhaps if we paint the house beige, you might forego the pool?

And you’re not getting my washer and dryer, either, so don’t even ask.

Contact lenses. Don’t leave home without it.

I had recently been invited over by a friend, a music enthusiast, to his newly-furnished apartment. As I was admiring his zen-inspired living slash music room, a curious piece of art hanging by his guitars and other music stuffs caught my fancy. Without the aid of my contacts, it was hard to tell what sort of rare beauty adorned his wall. Unable to contain my curiosity, I quickly pointed it out to him.

My friend paused for a moment, with his face blushing. I noticed how he tried not to laugh as he blurted out, “Ah, I bought that just recently, Behringer Pedalboards at musician’s friend . We had a good laugh with that one for days.

I love to play drums, they even bought a small drum set for me but of course the sound is very different from a real drum set. I saw a beat box in a local mall here in our place and it’s pretty expensive. My dad told me that we can make our own and it will be the best cajon ever made. I guess I am allowed to put design stickers like Angry Birds which are my favorite. With just plywood, wood glue and clamps, I know we can make it in no time not to mention that it’s cheaper and customized.

My birthday was two weeks ago and I did not receive any gift from my parents. It's alright and I am not expecting for a big gift since I can get anything I want. My cousin Svetlana just got her new bicycle after getting sick for a week. It's her prize for drinking all the medicines prescribed to her. Just so you know I got my own bicycle too on my first birthday but of course didn't used it that much since I was just a baby. It's broken now and I am no longer hoping that it will be fixed soon.

Well, for toddlers like me, what we need are educational toys or outdoor toys like bicycle and scooter. It's the time that we explore and learn to understand things. Maybe a dj gear is also a great gift for me because I love music. Who knows I can be the coolest baby in town.

There are so much things to learn from selling online like dealing with your clients. Not all of them like your items and they may say bad comments about your shop but that's okay because no one will believe them if you have a very succesfull shop.

Many are shifting to online store because they don't have to pay for rental fees, water and electricity bills. One can open a shop on different social networking sites and add as many friends as they want. Sit back, upload some photos of the item you sell, tag them if it's applicable and wait for them to buy. They can pay easily on your desired payment option or do meet-ups if the seller is available.

Couple and funny statement shirts are some of the items that are very popular and don't go out of fashion. Customize your own shirt. Let your clients choose the best design they want just like dexter t shirts. They offer a wide variety of designs that you can choose from.

It is very important to know what's new in the market place so people will keep on visiting your shop. Always answer costumer's inquiries as soon as possible. Even if they don't see the seller, buyers may know if the seller is irritated or what.